Heart to Heart
by Jaded Nerevarine
Summary: Spike tries to find the answer to a very serious question, finally turning to Cadence for help. Luckily for him, she's all too willing to assist. Unluckily for her, she has no idea what she's getting herself into. (Takes place prior to Season 1. Scattered innuendo.)


Whew! Finally got this sucker posted. Meant to have it done Thanksgiving, but hell, with 40+ family members all together, hard to find a moment alone. Anyway, this is my first attempt at a self-contained oneshot, and being the loquacious dipshit that I am, the damn thing's eight-thousand words. I just hope that everyone enjoys.

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___Don't you ever ask them why,  
if they told you, you would cry,  
So just look at them and sigh  
and know they love you._

_Crosby, Stills and Nash- Teach Your Children_

Heart to Heart

* * *

.

Spike was beginning to think that this was a very bad idea.

He'd never asked this before, of anypony. It SEEMED like a simple question, but who knows how she'd react.

Would she think it was a stupid request? Or say that he was too young to understand?

What if… what if she got angry with him? He might not understand what the word meant, but he knew it could start trouble. He remembered seeing a pair of unicorn colts start a hoof-fight outside Twilight's school shortly after the word had been uttered. And then there was that pegasus outside Pony Joe's. The mare had angrily repeated the word back before she slapped the stallion right across his face, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Would she react the same way? Spank or scold him? Or worse, what if she told Twilight? And then Twilight told Celestia?! He could already imagine them towering over him, their eyes stern and cold, the combined force of their glares causing him to shrivel and melt down into a tiny lump of scales…

He shook the thought out of his head. No. No, they wouldn't do that. Celestia was always telling Twilight that there were no such things as stupid questions. They were made to be asked, after all.

But did he really have to ask now? Maybe it would be better to wait a few days… or years…

But he might never get this chance again. The two of them weren't alone very often, and it already seemed hard enough to work up the courage for that. Asking in front of other ponies would be impossible.

It had to be tonight.

That settled it! He was solving this mystery here and now! Putting all fears of ocular disintegration aside, he pushed open the door and marched into his best friend's bedroom.

The filly and her mother looked up from their task of straightening Twilight's dress, and the older mare clucked her tongue in disapproval.

"Spike, I told you we were leaving in twenty minutes! Look at you, you're not even dressed," she said. Leaving Twilight to finish preparing, she turned to his bag and levitated several items toward him.

"Hurry and put those on," she ordered. "And make sure that your shirt is buttoned evenly. I'll help with your bow tie as soon as your coat is on."

Spike readied himself. It was now or never.

"I don't want to go."

The unicorns looked at him in surprise.

"But, why not, Spike?" Twilight's voice was a mix of confusion and disappointment. "I really thought you were looking forward to this."

Shoot. They weren't buying it. Spike needed an excuse, a scapegoat.

In a flash of inspiration, he crossed his arms and snorted out a tiny plume of smoke. "No way! Shining Armor told me that opera is totally lame! Nothing but mares in helmets singing high enough to break glass! Bleh! He said that no stallion would ever want to see that kind of mush!"

That seemed to do the trick. Twilight's mother gritted her teeth. "Is that the sort of nonsense he's filling your head with? When I get my hooves on that little…"

Well, at least she believed him, though that didn't ease the guilt that Spike felt at having thrown Shining Armor under the bus. Maybe they'd both get lucky and she'd forget about it later.

Twilight persisted. "Spike, are you sure? It could be a great learning opportunity! I read that opera is widely considered to be the pinnacle of the performing arts, rich in allegorical-"

If Twilight was trying to change his mind, she wasn't doing a very good job. Instead, the confusing jumble of terminology only fueled his desire to escape from the night's 'entertainment.'

Pretending to recoil at Twilight's words, Spike clasped his hands and looked pleadingly up at her mother, setting his voice to maximum pout. "That makes it sound even worse! I know it'll be boring, and long, and I don't wanna go please don't make me!"

The combination of his crocodile tears and whining voice proved to be the straws that broke the camel's, or rather, the pony's back. Faced with the potential torture of dragging a moping, temperamental child to a three-hour opera, Mrs. Sparkle took the sensible option and returned Spike's clothes to his bag.

"Alright," she conceded. "Twilight, dear, finish up and come downstairs while I write a letter to Cadence…"

Spike waited until she was out of the room before letting out a victorious cheer, to Twilight's continued bewilderment.

He was halfway there, now came the tricky part.

.

* * *

.

Cadence had scarcely set hoof on the porch before the door burst open and a near-frantic Mrs. Sparkle dragged her inside.

"I really can't thank you enough for coming by on such short notice. I know it was terribly rude of me, but with the princess out of Canterlot for the evening, I couldn't take Spike back to the castle, and he's certainly too young to be staying here by himself!"

The older mare was going a mile a minute, and Cadence allowed herself to be towed about the house until her captor was forced to stop for breath.

"It's no trouble at all, really. I always enjoy taking care of Spike." Cadence managed to wrench her foreleg out of the unicorn's grip, giving a slight wince as blood flowed back into her numb hoof. "Now, is there anything I should know before you head out?"

A look of panic spread over the unicorn's face. "Oh goodness! How could I have forgotten?! Oh, no time, no time!" Lunging for the desk, she snatched up a scrap of paper and quill, scribbling furiously before shoving the half-legible note into Cadence's face.

"This is the address of the theater we'll be attending if you need anything, and these are the words that Princess Celestia wanted Spike to practice his claw-writing on, and this…"

Cadence held up the note and looked over the numerous squiggles of ink, idly wondering how anypony was supposed to read the haphazard writing that sprawled across the page.

Mrs. Sparkle was already heading for the door, speaking so quickly that her words blurred together. "And we planned to grab dinner during the second intermission so Spike will probably want to eat in about an hour so help yourselves to anything in the pantry and make sure he gets to bed before ten. Do you have any questions?"

As she was still trying to work her way through the last verbal barrage, Cadence had no idea if there was anything else she needed to know. A quick glance at the unicorn in the doorway, however, did reveal one thing that was clearly absent.

"No, no questions," she said. "Though you are forgetting one more thing."

"Oh no, what is it this time!"

"Your daughter."

Mrs. Sparkle froze, her panicked expression changing to bewilderment. For a moment one could almost hear the gears turning in her head as her overly stressed mind finally remembered that she even HAD a daughter. Once that was accomplished, she looked down to her side to see that, yes, the room was rather devoid of any Twilights.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE," she yelled up the stairs. "COME DOWN HERE THIS MINUTE! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

A startled yelp came from the upper floor, followed by the crash of a large and probably heavy piece of furniture toppling over. Finally came the banging of hooves on wood as Twilight rushed down the stairs. A pair of saddlebags were draped over her back, each one overflowing with quills and parchment.

"Sorry… mom…" she panted. "Just… had to… grab… a few… things…"

"Twilight, for the last time, you do NOT need to take notes on the opera!"

"Yes I do," she countered. "Spike thinks operas are dull and stupid and I'm gonna prove otherwise! I'll write down everything that happens and show him that operas are great and I'm right and Shining Armor is wrong!"

Cadence smirked in amusement. "So neither of your boys wanted to go?"

"Spiked wanted to at first," Twilight said with a huff. "But then my dumb, big brother changed his mind. Spike wants to be just like him, so he avoids anything that's not 'cool' or 'macho.'"

"What a couple of troublemakers." Cadence shook her head and leaned down towards Twilight. "I think we need to show them how wrong they are!"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah!"

Grinning deviously, Cadence went on. "Here's what we'll do. You get those notes written to show Spike, and I'LL deal with your brother."

"Deal!"

Mrs. Sparkle sighed, looking every bit a veteran mother who realizes that further arguing is futile. "Well, if you want to spend half the time writing, so be it," she said, ushering her daughter out the door. "But please, try not to dictate out loud this time?"

As the door clicked shut, Cadence found herself wondering, not for the first time, how that poor mare's mane hadn't already turned grey, considering what a handful her children were. And speaking of children…

She found Spike in the hallway outside Twilight's room. Oddly enough, the baby dragon was pacing from wall to wall, claws rubbing anxiously. Spike was usually so carefree; it was unsettling to see him act in a, well, Twilightish fashion.

"You must have a lot on your mind if I have to come look for you," she teased. "Usually you'd be jumping at me as soon as I came in the house."

Spike looked up, a grin breaking on his face at the sound of her voice.

"Cadence!" And just as she said, he leapt forward, feeling the familiar blue field of magic surrounding and pulling him into her forelegs.

But as soon as she placed him back on the floor, that pensive look returned. Only now, it seemed to relate to her, as Spike was doing everything he could to avoid meeting her gaze.

"Spike, is something wrong?" The dragon mumbled a no and looked down at his feet.

"Are you worried about Twilight's little report?" It was unlikely, but she had no idea what else could be troubling him.

Spike finally looked up, wearing a large and obviously fake smile. "Eh heh heh, yeah. The report. Not looking forward to it. Knowing Twilight, it'll be long and dull and full of words I don't understand."

He wasn't fooling anyone, but Cadence knew better than to pry. If he felt like talking about it, he'd mention it when he was ready.

"Come on, big guy. Let's get your homework done and then see about making dinner." Levitating him onto her back, she turned to head down the stairs.

Dinner had proven to be an unusually sedate affair. Where normally Spike would be chattering nonstop, tonight the dragon had barely managed to complete a full sentence. Most ponies would have found his embarrassed glances, half-guilty expression, and mumbled responses maddening in the extreme.

Most ponies would have grabbed him by his pudgy little cheeks, shaken him like a magic 8-ball and demanded answers.

But not Cadence.

Cadence was crafty, and her experience in foalsitting had taught her that one did not simply employ brute force or persistence in these cases. She knew that pressing Spike would only make him more reluctant, but if she acted nonchalant and avoided the subject? He'd finally spill the beans. It was just a matter of letting him stew until the pressure finally made him crack!

Was it manipulative? Maybe just a little. But nopony could argue with the results.

And speaking of results, it looked like Spike had just about hit the breaking point. Just a little push…

"Well Spike, we still have a few hours before your bedtime. What would you like to do next? We could play a game, or read a story? Whatever you want," she hinted.

Spike perked up, no doubt recognizing the perfectly coincidental chance to say what was on his mind. "Well," he said, twiddling his fingers. "I was kinda hoping we could just talk, you know?"

Cadence gave him the most disarmingly innocent smile she could manage and motioned for him to climb on.

"That sounds like a great idea! How about I make you a cup of hot chocolate, and then we can have a nice, long chat?"

Spike let out a whoop and hopped onto her back. As they headed into the kitchen, Cadence couldn't help but smirk victoriously. Sometimes, she was just too good for her own good.

So here they were, sitting together in front of the warm and crackling fireplace. Spike had wrapped himself in her mane, and was happily licking the last traces of chocolate away from his mouth. Cadence merely smiled, absently running a hoof over the rim of her cup as she waited for the perfect moment to strike. She'd allowed the conversation to meander over a range of casual topics to settle the dragon's nerves.

Now, it was time to put all that preparation to use.

"Now then," she said. "Think you're ready to tell me what's been bothering you all night?"

Spike gasped in shock. "How... how did you know," he asked with all the amazement of a foal witnessing a magic trick.

"Oh, I have my ways." She laughed and gave him a light nuzzle to the cheek. "So why don't you stop worrying and tell your favorite cousin all about it?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay… well it's something I've wanted to know about for a long time, but I'm scared to ask. Everypony else seems to understand it, and, well, I didn't want to seem stupid by asking!"

"Oh, Spike. You should never be afraid to ask questions," she soothed. "And don't worry; I'd never think you were stupid."

"Really?"

"Really. So go ahead, ask away."

"Okay," Spike said, but then pointed a claw at her. "But you can't laugh!"

She almost did right then and there. It was adorable how seriously he was taking such a simple matter.

"Don't worry, I won't."

He didn't seem convinced. "You promise?"

"I promise."

"Well, okay…" he peered around cautiously, as if checking for eavesdroppers, then leaned closer and whispered into her ear.

"I want to know what love is."

The simplest question in the world, but one that could be answered in a near-infinite amount of ways. For a moment, Cadence was tempted to simply dodge the question, to tell him to ask his mother, or inform him that he would understand when he was older.

But then she saw him waiting for her response, his eyes filled with a hopefully curiosity, trusting her to have all the answers, and she knew she couldn't turn him down. But what could she say? How could she explain just how personal and complex love could be? How it could bring longing or loss, bliss or bitterness? How it could diminish or strengthen over time? She scarcely knew where to start!

"W… well," she began. "Love is a word that can mean many different things, and can be used in many different ways."

"That's what makes it so confusing," he cut in. "At first I thought it was a way to say 'good night,' because mom always says it when she tucks me in for bed. But then I heard Twilight's mom say it when Mr. Sparkle gave her a necklace! And another time I heard a stallion say it about hay fries!"

"I know it seems confusing," she said. "But each one of those was just a different kind of love. You see, Spike, love is a feeling that you get deep inside. The feeling is always caused by something else. It can be another pony, or it can be an object. It can even be a place, or a time of day."

"Wow! It must be a good feeling, right? Every time I hear somepony say it, they always look really happy!"

"It is a good feeling, the most wonderful one there is."

"But how can things like hay fries make you feel so good?"

Cadence paused for a moment. If she wasn't careful, she'd just wind up confusing him more. Best to start simply. "Let's try something. Can you tell me what your favorite food is?"

"That's easy," Spike said with a grin. "Rubies!"

"And why is that," she asked.

"Cause they taste good!"

"Better than sapphires?"

He nodded.

"Better than tourmaline?"

Spike pretended to gag. "Blech! Much better!"

"So instead of saying they were your favorite, you could say that you love rubies."

Spike's face lit up with understanding. "Just like that stallion and the hay fries!"

She smiled back at him. "Exactly! When you say that you love a certain thing, it means that there's something special or important about it that makes you like it more than other things."

"That was fun," he said. "Give me another one!"

"Alright." She thought for another moment. "How about your favorite story?"

And so it went, with the two asking and answering questions, each learning about the other more and more. But Cadence could see that Spike's curiosity had yet to be sated, and she knew that a more complicated explanation would soon be required.

And sure enough, Spike's next question returned to the heart of the matter.

"But what about other ponies? If love means liking something more than anything else, does that mean you can only love one other pony at a time? Like if Twilight's mom and dad say they love her, does that mean they like her more than Shining Armor?"

Cadence inwardly berated herself. In her rush to simplify things, she'd accidentally complicated the situation!

"It's not like that at all," she reassured him. "When you love others, it means that you really care about them. You want them to be happy, and safe, and you're willing to do whatever you can to keep them that way. You cheer them up when they're sad, you take care of them when they're sick, not because you have to, but because you want to."

"Like you do for me and Twilight," Spike asked hopefully.

"Right. I love you both, and many other ponies besides." She reached up and tapped a hoof to Spike's chest. "The heart has plenty of room, and a lot of love to spare, so there's no need to choose only one pony to receive it."

Spike nodded, but then his smile lessened. "But, wait! If that's true, then does that mean I can't be your favorite cousin anymore?"

Cadence laughed. "Of course you can, silly… just don't tell Blueblood, okay?" She threw an exaggerated glance behind her, as if the haughty unicorn might be spying on them. "He'd probably throw a temper-tantrum and not speak to me again!"

Spike giggled and mimed zipping his lips, and the two once again fell into a comfortable silence. For a moment, Cadence thought that their little conversation was well and truly finished.

"But why does it sound so different?"

Lost in her own thoughts, Cadence only noticed the dragon's question after he voiced it a second time.

"What sounds different," she asked.

"Saying 'I love you.' When mom says it to me, it's always really soft and warm-sounding. When Twilight's parents say it, it's kinda lighter, like they're playing around. And when Shining Armor says it to you, his voice gets all low, like he's trying to growl it." Spike tried to imitate Shining Armor's so-called 'sultry voice,' an attempt that had Cadence almost laughing her horn off.

Wiping a tear from her eye, she tried to think of how best to word this. "Well, do you remember when I said that love can mean many different things? There can also be different kinds of love. Depending on what kind of love it is, you express it differently."

Spike looked bewildered. "Wow, that's confusing," he said, struggling to extricate himself from her mane. She asked where he was going, but he had already shot out of the room, yelling something about getting help.

She was preparing to go after him when he returned, brandishing a quill and dragging a long sheet of parchment behind him.

Plopping down beside her, he smoothed out the parchment and readied the quill. "There! Now I can make notes so I remember everything, just like Twilight!"

Notes… that gave her an idea! Marveling at her own genius, Cadence pulled him closer and pointed to the middle of the sheet.

"Good idea, Spike," she said. "Now, first I want you to draw me a triangle, okay?"

Spike nodded, and with Cadence's magic acting as a straight-edge, he soon had a large triangle dominating the page.

"A heart is a lot like a triangle," she explained. "And all the ponies you love fit into it."

Taking the quill, she made a series of horizontal lines, dividing it into sections. "But you see how the higher you go, the smaller each space gets?" She waited for a moment to let him examine the picture. "If every pony you love fits into the triangle, what do you think that means for these smaller spaces?"

"Umm… that… less ponies can fit into them?"

She beamed. "Very good! You are just the smartest dragon there is." Spike blushed as she patted his head. "As you go higher up the triangle, the number of ponies becomes fewer, and the love you feel for them gets stronger, because it's concentrated only on them."

"But you said that the heart has room for lots of ponies!"

"And it does, but not every pony is loved the same," she said patiently. "Look at your mother. You know how she calls her subjects 'beloved?' It's because she loves everypony in Equestria." She pointed at the lowest, widest section of the triangle.

"Every mare and stallion, colt and filly is in her heart. But many of them she's never met; will never know. Do you think she loves them as much as she loves us?"

Spike seemed uncertain, so she decided to try another approach. "Try this, and think of how she expresses her love. How does Celestia greet other ponies when they visit her at the castle?"

"Well, she waits for them to walk up to her, and then after they bow she usually closes her eyes and either bows back or dips her head down."

"Alright. Now how does she greet you?"

He thought about that. "She usually picks me up with her magic and pulls me over, then gives me a hug."

"And how many other ponies does she hug or nuzzle," Cadence asked.

"Uh, not many? There's me, and you, and Twilight…"

"And that's what the triangle means. She loves everypony, but a few of us, those she considers family," Cadence tapped one of the higher sections. "Hold a special place in her heart."

"So we're higher up on the list," Spike deduced.

"Which means that she cares about, and acts towards us differently," she continued.

Spike looked back at the drawing. "So this is everypony in Equestria, and this is your family," he said. He looked at the unmarked section between the two. "And this is friends or something?" She nodded, and he looked to the highest and smallest section of the triangle. "So what's this one?"

She smiled. "That is the most special place of all. A place that is meant for one particular somepony. When you fall in love, it means that somepony has become so important, so precious to you, that they and they alone fill this spot."

"Wow, that sounds awesome," Spike said. "So how do you express love for somepony in this section?"

Cadence wasn't sure if she wanted to answer that. The conversation had reached a crossroad, on the verge of turning down a very awkward path.

Not noticing to her nervousness, Spike was trying to puzzle through the answer. "Let's see, friends hug each other… and then there's family, where there's hugs and nuzzles and kisses on the cheek and forehead… so what's above that… oh, I know!"

He looked up at Cadence. "One time I saw Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle kiss on the lips! I bet that's it, huh?"

She nodded in relief. "You got it! Kisses are one of the best ways to express your love, but you don't kiss just anypony, and not just anywhere!"

Cadence fixed Spike with a serious look. "Kisses on the lips are ONLY for couples, like coltfriends and marefriends."

"What about kisses in other places," Spike asked.

Other… places? Cadence didn't like the sound of that. Not. One. Bit. "Like a kiss on the hoof? Well, that's how a gentlecolt greets his lady when they meet in public."

Praying that she was blowing things out of proportion, she gave him a weak smile and lifted her mug of cocoa.

Spike shook his head. "No, I mean like kissing on the neck, or when the stallion kisses the mare between her legs."

The mug dropped to the floor, and there was a hiss of steam as Cadence sprayed her drink into the fireplace. Coughing and sputtering, she looked at Spike in horror. "Where… where did you see THAT," she demanded.

Spike seemed unfazed. "Well, last week you were foalsitting me and Twilight, remember? Well, after you sent us to bed, I got thirsty, so I snuck downstairs to get a glass of water when I heard something from the living room."

Cadence's fur was turning a very bright shade of red as she recognized which night Spike was referring to. What had he heard? Oh dear goddess, how much had he SEEN?

"So I peeked inside and saw you and Shining Armor on the couch," the dragon continued innocently. "He was lying in front of you and had his hooves on your cutie marks, and it looked like he was kissing you under your stomach. You were thrashing around and moaning stuff, and you kept saying 'yes' over and over again. I watched for a little bit, but then I got tired and went back up to bed."

As Spike finished his story, Cadence could only sit there in slack-jawed mortification. She couldn't believe they had been so careless! She should have known better than to let Shining Armor talk her into fooling around while the children were upstairs.

Her only consolation was that Spike was too young to know what he was looking at, and that he obviously hadn't told Celestia about his little escapade.

Hoping not to reveal anything more than necessary, she shakily said, "Ye… yes… kissing down… there… is another way to express love, but…"

"Cool, I've never tried that before! Hey, should I try that on mom the next time she comes to tuck me in? I'll bet she'd be really surprised!"

"NO," Cadence screamed, cursing herself over and over. She could just imagine the horrifying scene in her mind: Celestia gently carrying Spike to bed, levitating the blankets over him, bending down to kiss him on the forehead, Spike leaning forwards to plant a big, wet kiss on her marehood… and then happily informing her of where he'd learned such a thing.

She'd be dead. Ohhhhh yes, would she be dead. Forget imprisonment or banishment, Celestia would most likely punt her right into the sun.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she looked down to see Spike staring up at her, his eyes wide and confused. Hoping she could salvage this mess, she looped a foreleg around him and lowered her head to his.

"Now Spike, I want you to listen to me carefully, okay? What you saw is the most important, most special way to express your love for another. It's something you don't do to ANYPONY else. Only husbands and wives can, understand?"

"O… okay, I'll… I'll remember," he stammered.

"You have to promise me," she pressed. "That you won't even think about doing that to another pony, or even talk to them about doing it. Okay?"

"I promise," he said. Then his face broke into a smile as a new thought crossed his mind. "Hey, wait, you said husbands and wives do that, right? Does that mean you and Shining Armor are getting married?"

Cadence's blush returned, though she was thankful for the conversation's new direction. "I'd like to," she admitted. "Maybe in a few years…"

"Good," Spike said with all the authority he could muster. "He'd make a good cousin, and I could help you keep him in line." The dragon fell silent, his gaze turned towards the fire. When he spoke again, there was a trace of sadness in his voice. "It must be nice to be in love, huh?"

"It is," she said. "It's the greatest feeling in the world."

"I wish I could be in love."

And somehow, she had a feeling he would be soon. And she just knew he was going to be quite the little Casanova. "Don't try to rush it, Spike. You can't just decide that you're in love, it has to happen on its own."

"But how will I know," he asked worriedly. "What if I fall in love and can't figure it out until it's too late!"

"Trust me, you'll know," Cadence said. "When you're in love with somepony, just being around them brightens your day. When they're happy, you can't help but feel the same. When they're sad, you're willing to do anything just to see them smile. You enjoy spending time with them, even for boring things like chores or errands. You're willing to do whatever they ask, just to help them out. You think about them when they're not around, and you look forward to when you'll see them next."

Spike was writing furiously, hurriedly transcribing every word she spoke. When it was clear that no further indications would be coming, he looked up and asked, "What then?"

She wanted to say that he was too young to be worrying so much about this, but the look in his eyes was enough to keep her going. "Well, if you treat her right, and she seems to like you back, then you tell her about your feelings, and ask if she'll be your mare. If she accepts, then the two of you begin dating."

"What then!"

"Then you see what happens. If the feelings become stronger, and the two of you grow closer, then eventually you might decide to get married."

"Get… married…" Spike wrote, underlining the phrase several times. If Cadence had been paying more attention, she would have found it rather unsettling that Spike's notes were taking the form of Twilight's checklists.

"So how do I treat my love right so she'll love me back?"

Cadence realized they were treading back into dangerous territory. Still, what was the harm in giving him a few pointers? Why, with her tutelage, he could become quite the little gentledrake!

And hopefully forget all about that little peepshow from the past week.

"Alright, Spike! Get that quill ready, because I'm gonna teach you everything I know!"

And she did. By the time they were through, Spike's claws were aching and barely able to hold a quill. But he had notes on how to act, how to speak, how to dress, and everything in between.

Some of them made sense, like always opening the door for her or treating her with the utmost politeness. Others were strange. Spike didn't get why he had to refer to her as "milady" when they were in public, or why he should toss his coat over a mud puddle when they could just as easily step around it.

But he wasn't one to question, and every word Cadence said was dutifully recorded. In his opinion, the night had been a rousing success! He had come in not even knowing what love was, and now he was all but ready to get a marefriend of his own! There was only one thing left to do.

"Cadence," he asked.

The smile she gave him would have put any other fears to rest. "Yes?"

"Thanks, for giving me all this help. But I dunno if I'll do it right. I don't wanna mess up and act stupid, so I was wondering if you could maybe help me practice?"

"Hmm, I don't think so Spike, I'm not really in the mood for something like that."

His face fell, but then she lifted him to his feet. "What I am in the mood for is ice cream," she said with a smirk. "If only there was some gentledrake willing to take me?"

Spike was raising his hand and almost jumping up and down. "Oh, me, me! I'll do it!"

She gave him a wry look, and he sheepishly calmed down and grabbed his notes. After a quick look, he cleared his throat and walked up to her, giving a low bow.

"Pardon me, milady," he recited, keeping one eye on the parchment while extending a claw. "But would you do me the honor of accompanying me for the evening?"

"My good sir," she said while taking his claw. "I would be delighted."

And together, they headed out the door.

Two hours later, the sun had set on Equestria, and beneath the cool light of the moon, two figures made their way back to the Sparkle household. Actually, one carried the other, on their way back to the Sparkle household.

"I thought I was supposed to take care of you," Spike grumbled from where he lay on Cadence's back. "It doesn't seem like good manners to make the lady carry the gentledrake around."

Cadence snickered. "Well, a gentledrake should always be truthful, so it would be even worse manners to pretend you're alright when you've got such a bad stomachache."

"I guess." Rolling onto his stomach, Spike took another glance at the object in his claws. A large, trillion cut ruby. The last, uneaten piece of his dessert.

She looked back and frowned at the gem. "You're not planning on finishing that tonight, are you?"

Almost guiltily, Spike moved the ruby out of her sight. "No, I was actually planning on using it for… um… something else."

Everything about the sentence was suspicious, but Cadence was luckily distracted by the stallion that greeted them at the door.

"Hey honey! Hey Spike," Shining Armor said, walking up to give Cadence a quick nuzzle. "Where have you two been?"

She returned the gesture and gave Spike a quick wink. "Oh, just having a heart to heart over some ice cream."

Shining Armor laughed and hoof-bumped Spike. "Nice, dude! Going out for ice cream and ditching the opera? Sounds like you really lucked out!"

Cadence's smile dropped into an icy glare. "Speaking of which," she said. "You and I are going to have a talk about the example you've been setting for impressionable young colts."

The unicorn blinked in surprise. "What did I do?"

Taking that as his cue, Spike hopped off Cadence's back and made for the staircase. "Well, I should get to bed! Thanks for everything, Cadence! Night!"

Shining Armor looked between Cadence and the doorway through which Spike had disappeared. "Um, did I miss something?"

Before she could respond, Spike returned, now dragging a long roll of parchment.

"Sorry," he said. "What I meant to say was… *ahem* Thank you kindly for gracing me with your company. Now, I must bid you good evening."

"Much better," Cadence nodded. "Good night, Spike."

With a wave of his claw, the dragon vanished again.

Once he was gone, Cadence collapsed into a fit of giggles. Feeling a hoof drape across her neck, she cuddled into her coltfriend's side.

"Sounds like you had an exciting day," he ventured.

"Very. And I have to say, you might have some competition in the near future." Shining Armor raised an eyebrow, and she pointed to the now vacant doorway. "Spike's on track to be quite the romantic."

"You're kidding! Oh, I've got to hear this."

"Wow," he finally said after she'd finished her story. "And here I thought Spike'd still be in the 'fillies have cooties' phase."

"Well, he always has been mature for his age."

"Definitely. Well, with you as his teacher, I'm sure he'll be the best coltfriend a filly could ask for."

"Yes, he'll make some mare very happy one day."

"Speaking of making mares happy…" Shining Armor said with a sly grin. "My family won't be home for another hour." His hoof slid down her back towards her flank. "Why don't we…"

She lightly smacked his hoof away. "No," she said. "Not with Spike right upstairs."

"Come on, honey," he pleaded. "It's not like the little guy's gonna sneak down and see anything?"

He'd been joking, but one look at Cadence's face made him regret ever opening his mouth. Her face was twisted into a scowl, and he could almost hear her teeth grinding.

"Really? I think he saw more than enough last week on the couch!"

"Wha? Last week on the…" His eyes widened, mouth going dry as the pieces fell into place.

He tried to keep his voice steady, really he did. But of course, all that came out was the frightened squeak of a son who can already feel his mother breathing down his neck.

"How much did he hear?"

Cadence smiled humorlessly and reached out to pat his cheek. "Oh, enough that if he starts asking about the birds and the bees, I'll let Celestia know EXACTLY who to blame when she gives him The Talk."

.

* * *

.

"I must say, I'm quite proud of how well you handled Spike's curiosity," Celestia said, setting her tea cup back on its tray. "Though I can't help but feel that the subject of your conversation was a bit… mature for him."

Cadence waved the comment off. "Oh auntie, you worry too much! All of the questions Spike asked were completely innocent, and I made certain not to venture into any… inappropriate topics."

Sure, it was basically a lie, but it wasn't like Cadence had brought up some of the racier issues in last night's talk. And she certainly wasn't going to tell the princess that her son's innocence had been nearly obliterated because of his foalsitter getting a bit frisky one night.

Celestia nodded. "And for that I am quite thankful, but I also noticed from Spike's notes that you gave him advice on dating etiquette. Do you really think he is in need of such information?"

Cadence blushed and looked away. "Well, hopefully not for quite awhile, but I figured that if he was interested, it would be best to at least put him on the right course. This way if he decides to approach a filly, it will be with good morals and manners. That's better than the alternative, right?"

The sun goddess frowned. "Personally, I still think Spike is five-hundred years too young to even be THINKING about dating!" She sighed and took another sip of tea. "But you're right. Should such a situation arise, better that he knows the proper way to court a mare, though I still hope it will be some time before he applies that knowledge."

Just as those words passed Celestia's lips, like the punch line to some cosmic joke, the doors to the throne room banged open and a purple-coated unicorn galloped inside.

"Well, good afternoon Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said. "And what's gotten you so excited?"

Twilight skidded to a halt before the two alicorns, panting for breath while struggling to speak at the same time. There was something different about her, Cadence noticed. Her attention was drawn to Twilight's heaving chest, and her jaw dropped when she saw the object that rested there.

"Hello… Princess… Cadence…" Twilight managed. "Look… at what… Spike… gave…"

Sure enough, Twilight was wearing a simple golden necklace, likely one of Celestia's older pieces. Set into the metal, gleaming in the light, was the ruby Spike had saved from last night.

Cadence tried to speak, but all that same out was a strangled groan. She could feel Celestia's eyes slowly turning towards her, and she hoped with all her might that this was just some misunderstanding.

"It's… it's lovely, Twilight," she said, her voice strained and overly cheerful. "Spike is such a thoughtful friend, giving a gift like that." She willed Twilight to get the hint.

To her dismay, the unicorn laughed. "Don't be silly, Cadence! This isn't some little gift. Spike proposed to me a few minutes ago, and we're going to get married!"

Cadence was frozen, shocked to the core. She couldn't have replied even at spearpoint. The princess, however, managed to find her voice.

"Ma… marriage? Well, that's wonderful news, Twilight. But, if you don't mind me asking, how exactly did you and Spike come to this rather serious decision?"

Obviously proud of herself, Twilight straightened up. "Well, Princess, it all began this morning when Spike and I finished our lessons. I noticed that Spike was acting rather strange. He was doing all sorts of extra things for me, like holding doors open, and carrying my books and supplies. But what was weirder was that he kept calling me names like madam and milady. At first, he wouldn't tell me what was going on, but I kept asking until finally he said that he was practicing from a special lesson that Cadence gave him."

Cadence winced. She chanced a look up, only to see Celestia's eyes boring into her. "Go on," the goddess instructed without breaking her stare.

"Well, as your personal protégé, I believe that it is my responsibility to learn everything that I possibly can, so I couldn't pass up this chance. So after some… well… whining, I convinced Spike to share all of his notes with me."

Oblivious to the rapidly building tension in the room, Twilight continued. "We got through most of the lesson okay, but then we got to the part about dating. That's when I noticed something."

"Most of the things Cadence mentioned, like looking forward to seeing each other, or helping each other out, we already do! So if we both fit most of the items on the list, the only logical explanation is that we were already dating!"

At this point, all Cadence wanted was to crawl into a hole and die. Her careful explanations were backfiring in the most spectacular way possible, and while she was not yet angry, it was obvious that Celestia was not amused.

"Once we decided that we'd already been dating, we looked back at the notes, and then we got an even BIGGER surprise!"

"Do tell," Celestia said through her teeth.

"All the things on the dating list are stuff we've done before! Spending all our time together? Going out to eat? Reading stories in bed? We've been doing those for years! It was weird to think that we'd been dating our whole lives, and both of us felt really nervous. That's when I looked back at the signs that tell you when you're in love."

Twilight was giggling at the memory. "One of the signs was butterflies in your stomach, and right then, Spike and I felt like we had hundreds of them. And just like that, everything made sense! We had to be in love!"

"And that was when you decided to become engaged," Celestia finished. "So then where did the necklace come from?"

The unicorn looked down at herself and blushed slightly. "Well, for a little while we weren't sure what to do, since Spike remembered seeing my dad give my mom a necklace, and we didn't have anything like that. Then he remembered the gem that Cadence gave him last night, so we snuck into your bedroom and he put it in one of your old necklaces."

Her ears flattened as she looked at her mentor. "You're, you're not mad, right?"

"Not at either of you," Celestia said brightly, though a subtle twitch in her eye clearly showed that she was quite angry at somepony in particular.

Twilight looked at her with a smile. "So… it's alright that we're engaged? I mean, it seemed like the obvious thing to do. We'd done all the previous steps, and…"

Celestia placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "I think it's a wonderful thing," she said, and Twilight's grin widened. "But I don't believe it should be done now."

"You see, Twilight, royal engagements are long and complicated affairs. They require a great deal of effort, and planning them consumes much of the future bride's time."

"That won't be a problem," she protested. "Spike and I can research everything, and I'll work on it every day without slacking a bit!"

Celestia paused, acting as if she was deep in thought. Suddenly, she gave a ridiculously fake gasp and turned back to Twilight. "But wait! If you devote all your time to the wedding, how will you find time for your studies?"

Twilight looked horrified, and Celestia pressed on, dramatically throwing a foreleg over her eyes. "Oh, this is terrible! You'll be forced to resign from your position as my student! Your education will be ruined forever!"

Twilight threw herself at Celestia's hooves. "No, no, no! I want to be your student! Spike and I can wait! Don't make me resign!"

Out of Twilight's vision, Celestia gave a triumphant grin at how easily she could manipulate her student. Cadence joined her. Even with the berating she was sure to receive, it would be worth it if her aunt managed to rectify this situation.

"Very well, Twilight. But remember, if you wish to continue your studies, this engagement must be placed aside. You and Spike must completely put it out of your minds for the present time. You should not dwell on it, nor speak of it, to yourselves or any other pony. Is that clear?"

"Yes! Yes, I promise! I'll go tell him right away!"

Twilight turned to leave, head down and looking completely downtrodden. Cadence blew out a relieved sigh. With enough distractions, and a little luck, the two of them would eventually forget the entire thing. Of course, she'd have to get rid of Spike's notes… couldn't have them finding any reminders.

Before Twilight could leave, Celestia called after her. "Twilight! Please do not let this trouble you! You and Spike are already inseparable. Closer than friends, closer than family, even. Surely you don't require a ceremony and title to grow closer, do you?"

The unicorn perked up slightly. "I guess not. Still, it's too bad we won't get to try those other things out. They sounded really fun."

Cadence's stomach twisted into a knot. Surely Twilight wasn't talking about…

Celestia's eyes narrowed. "Oh? And what 'fun things' are you speaking of?"

"Just some kind of special way to express love that only married couples can do," Twilight called over her shoulder as she pulled the door open.

Cadence's heart was pounding in her chest, and if wasn't for her aunt's menacing stare pinning her to the spot, she would have already dived out the nearest window.

"Spike said he learned about it from Cadence and my brother. It has something to do with the stallion getting between the mare's legs and them wrestling around and moaning."

The door clicked shut, and then the entire castle shook with the sound of the alicorn's shout.

"**WHAT?!"**

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**And that's that. Looks like the only Spike/Cadence story on the list. Guess that means it's both the best and the worst by default.

Hope you enjoyed the read. Let me know what you think?


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